In today’s modern fast-paced society, civility has gone the way of the dinosaur. In fact, when you are actually treated well at a hotel, on an airline, or even at work, it is more of the exception than the rule. People are often rewarded for doing the right thing. When someone is nice to you, you definitely tend to remember that person. Wouldn’t it be nice if this were the norm today?

Terry Bogorad, Esq. has written a monumental new book, “The Importance of Civility” is which she explores how important it is, not only for individuals, but for societies as well, to get back to the basics of treating others like we would like to be treated ourselves. She shares the theory that social isolation leads to victimization and weakens our communities, and warns us that social cannibalism may consume us if we continue to ignore our need and obligation to socially interact with each other.

“Civility is a form of goodness resulting from an awareness of others,” Bogorad says. “It is about more than being polite. Our communities depend upon us for being nice to each other.” She notes that spiraling youth violence, domestic violence and victimization can be linked to inadequate social skills. “When you know how to interact civilly, you learn to share control, to look at what you can sacrifice to get the other person to sacrfice. But nobody wants to sacrifice anymore.”

Students at Nichols State University in Louisiana were asked to sign a declaration of civility as part of a project started by Judy Daniels, the Dean of Student Life, after she observed vulgar language, racial slurs and inappropriate comments towards women on campus. Bogorad applauds this effort, and she hopes her book will be used in classrooms as a tool for learning greater civility and not just good manners.

Here are four ways to be more civil. 1. Acknowledge everyone we meet even those we don’t like with a smile and a nod. 2. Put more effort into listening. Let others finish speaking before formulating a response. 3. Choose to sacrifice a small point during a disagreement rather than be rude. 4. Try something new in order to meet new people, broaden your horizons and take part in meaningful conversation.

Terry Bogorad, Esq. is a former senior assistant prosecutor, a former probation officer, and  a former resident of Athens, Pennsylvania.

She maintains her law office in Northern New Jersey, where she and her husband raised their two sons. She is an alumnus of Widener University, William Paterson University, and Rutgers Law School in Newark, New Jersey. Bogorad is also the founder of Place for the Three C’s, which is a venture designed to strengthen our communities, foster other-awareness and to promote civility.


“The Importance of Civility” is divided into seven sections. It presents in reader-friendly terms such prominent topics as social isolation and how to avoid it, the influence of community and its weaknesses, social interaction and its value, the necessity of social capital, strategies for effective social interaction involving charm, choices and chutzpah, problems associated with social interaction, and small changes that can be pursued that would lead to unbelievable results. As an example of small changes, Bogorad reminds us of Rosa Parks, who changed her seat on a bus and got the support of others, thus igniting the civil rights movement.

At the end of each chapter the author includes brief sentences reminding us of the valuable principles that were contained in each chapter. It is something readers can take with them now to change the way they act. Send $15.99 for a paperback copy of “The Importance of Civility” to Terry S. Bogorad, Esquire, 41 Vreeland Avenue, Totowa, NJ 07512 or visit http://www.theimportanceofcivility.com for more details.